My origins, like those of most people born in North America during this century, are ambiguous and questionable. I am currently a Professor in the Computer Science Department at the University of California, Santa Barbara which is, of course, located in Goleta California for all intents and purposes that do not involve the U.S. Mail. My past is checkered (it used to be plaid, but I've been politely informed that a past can only be so retro). Formerly, I enjoyed the hospitable climes offered by the Computer Science Department at the University of Tennessee. I've also done time as research faculty member in the U.C. San Diego CS&E Department where I researched CS and a little E (every now and then) in a decidedly pedagogical manner. My research interests include, but are not limited to, Cloud Computing, performance oriented distributed computing, parallel and distributed systems, and the endless metaphysical search for the perfect coffee cup.